Taming Toddler Bedtime
When your little one was an infant, you had bedtime down to a science. It was a perfectly orchestrated 15-minute routine—bathtime, PJs, a little lotion, books, snuggles, and then your sweet baby was down for the night. Bliss!
Fast forward to toddlerhood, and somehow that 15-minute routine has turned into a marathon of activities: an all-hands-on-deck bathtime, a PJ wrestling match, reading anywhere from 3 to 20 books, a sprint around the house, and just a few more sips of water. Oh, and let’s not forget the crucial moment when your toddler requests that all 400 of their stuffed animals join them for a sleepover that would rival Noah’s Ark.
Sound familiar? If so, you’re SO not alone. Bedtime battles are the number one issue I help toddler parents with. The good news? This pushback is completely normal. Your toddler is learning about boundaries and growing up, and bedtime is the perfect stage for them to practice that newfound independence.
But let’s be real—knowing it’s normal doesn’t make bedtime any easier. So here are some tips to bring back the relaxing routine you once had and get you out of their room in 15 minutes or less!
Give Your Toddler Choices When Possible
One of the biggest reasons for your toddler pushing back is that they’re learning they have a voice (and they love testing it out!). So expect them to challenge everything you say. Fun, right?
To navigate this, give your toddler choices where you can during the bedtime routine. It doesn’t have to be a free-for-all, but offering a couple of simple options can make a big difference. Try something like:
“Do you want these pajamas or those pajamas?”
“Should we read this book or that book?”
“Would you like teddy bear or your cat stuffed animal tonight?”
Offering choices helps your toddler feel like they’re in control, and suddenly, bedtime becomes a little less of a battle and a little more like a team effort.
Incorporate a Bedtime Routine Chart
Toddlers thrive when they know what’s coming next, so a bedtime routine chart can be a game-changer. You don’t need anything fancy (though the supermoms on Etsy might disagree.) A simple hand-drawn chart with stick-figure pictures will do just fine. If you want to get creative, you could laminate it with checkboxes so your little one can mark off each activity as it’s completed.
The chart helps your toddler visualize what’s left to do, and if they ask for something extra (like one more book), you can just point to the chart and remind them what’s on the agenda.
Include Some Playtime in the Night Routine
Yep, I said it—playtime before bed. Sounds counterproductive, right? But hear me out. Toddlers push back at bedtime because they know sleep means separation from mom and dad. What they really want is a little extra connection before they settle down.
Play is a toddler’s love language, so adding a 5-10 minute quiet playtime can help fill that need. I recommend keeping it simple: choose a small area in their room and bring in toys that encourage imaginative, quiet play (no flashing lights or loud noises!) Some of my favorites include Magnatiles, blocks, and even coloring. This gives your toddler the extra connection they’re craving, making bedtime easier.
Stay Calm and Hold Those Boundaries
These tips should help bedtime go more smoothly, but let’s be real—toddlers will still test those boundaries and may have big feelings about it. That’s okay! Stick to the routine, hold your ground, and let them know it’s alright to feel upset. Offer hugs and a safe space for them to express their emotions.
Consistency is key. Over time, they’ll learn that bedtime isn’t up for negotiation, and their big feelings don’t need to be “fixed.” Being there for them and holding boundaries will go a long way.
Need more personalized help? My toddler sleep services are designed to create a bedtime routine that works for your family. Let’s get your evenings back on track—reach out today!
